It’s not that I’m vain, really. It’s just that here I am, reflecting on my four years (!) of tweets. More than 12,000 dumb things thrown at somewhat suspecting strangers and a friend or thirty. And in those 12,000, maybe a dozen not-so-bad thoughts.

Here they are, for what they’re worth, as selected by the twitter community (by the way of favorites and retweets and such). My best tweets:

 Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last book you read.

 When you’re peeing, coughing is like holding the B button in Super Mario.

 In a moment of clarity, I realize that emptying the lint trap is in essence throwing out my clothes very slowly.

 Don’t bother, the Steve Jobs sex tape isn’t that hot. It’s mostly him calling the buttons and UI on the Sony camcorder “absolute garbage.”

 Snack time on the plane. The two guys next to me get the peanuts. “I’ll join the peanut gallery,” I say. No one laughs. 4 hours to go.

 Next time I need to search for something, I think I’ll try Google.

 You know those restaurant signs where the pig is roasting itself? Wireless providers’ ads should show a contract fucking itself in the ass.

 When will Lego stop taking away our freedoms and finally allow compatibility with Playmobil pieces? Where is the outrage?

 Thirty years from now, the “2000’s” effect will make your photos look like they were taken with an iSight camera in a poorly lit bedroom.

 If your house listing doesn’t include any pictures, I’m just going to assume your house is a fat guy.

 With the ball dropped, the champagne popped, the fireworks fired, it is now time to declare it: 2010 is the year of Linux on the desktop.

Thanks for reading!